So.. the boyfriend and I are in a bit of a relationship strain.. like to me it feels like we might be falling apart. But I guess we’re both trying. We talked through this.. Literally our conversation:
Me: Do you think I like you more than you like me?
Him: I guess so..
Me: Oh… Do you think you’re losing feelings for me?
Him: I think so…
Me: Oh.. then do you want to break up with me?
Him: No, I don’t want to be the bad guy.
Me: Then do you want me to break up with you
—————-awkward silence tings——————————-
-sad rachel is sad-
LIKE THIS CONVERSATION WON”T STOP REPLAYING IN MY HEAD. AND LIKE IT HURTS AND STUFF. What the hell does someone mean when they said they don’t want to break up because they don’t want to be the bad guy.
So then we saw each other in person the next day.. and agreed that we won’t break up and we’re going to keep trying, and maybe last through University and such.
SO today I skipped my last period class, and surprised visit him at his school. Ask if he’s busy studying or anything. He says yeah he is, so I’m like okie. -hugs- and then rides the bus to go home.
Then I’m like playing league with some of his friends like usual. And they’re all like yo Ben snaking us, he haven’t been playing league with us. On counter strike and stuff. And I’m thinking to myself, dis guy said he had to study for exams wth.
SOOOOOOOOO. He rather spend time playing video games than with me. And yet he says he’s losing feelings a bit because we don’t see each other enough. :< BUT Y’KNOW I TRIED..
ain’t my fault like whaddupp betches.
I also gave him my one year anniversary gift because, our 1 year is in like 3 days.. but don’t think he really cares lul.
I’m hungry, and so I’m going to go eat some fried rice and calm my soul. And finish some supplementary application so i can get into University and stuff and not fail in life.